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Category: Journalism

FoCo Roller Derby Feature: Rough Haus Episode 1

FoCo Roller Derby Feature: Rough Haus Episode 1

FoCo Roller Derby was featured in the 1st episode of Rough Haus, a new television program on Sundays on KCDO-TV K3 geared toward martial artists, yogis, movement fanatics, herbalists, artists, explorers & more! Check it out!


Welcome to Rough Haus! This episode kicks off the season with Native American fitness, C.O.B.R.A. Self Defense, Roller Derby & Introduction into Movement Methods. Join us as we explore different ways to aggressively redefine safety, fun, and fitness!

October 9th Bout Recap: The Black and Blue Ball!

October 9th Bout Recap: The Black and Blue Ball!


by Eliaz “Evil I.” McMillan

Saturday’s Black and Blue Ball certainly lived up to its name, and I’m not just talking about the attire. The ladies of FoCo Girls Gone Derby demonstrated that even a girl in an evening dress is a force to be reckoned with. I’m sure each derby girl left the Ball with their own forget-me-not that evening, and I don’t mean a corsage. Saturday saw some brutal (but mostly legal) hits delivered by elbows, forearms and shoves from behind.

Perhaps no one has a better story to tell than Bolshevik Sin, number 1917 of the Deathrow Dolls. About six minutes to the end of the bout she took a legal hit and landed badly, hurting her knee, but not before playing a great game, scoring 17 points in the bout and  making lead jammer status four times, making her the highest scoring jammer for her team. The EMS from Poudre Valley Health Systems were quick to respond and I’m pleased to report her knee was injured, but not broken. We will see her back on the track in 2011!

A quick look at the stats show the Chanel Cartel to be the queens of the ball, final score: Chanel Cartel-140, to Deathrow Dolls-61. With the four highest scoring jammers: Misty Skull Krippler (42 pts), Aimee ArmaLite (36 pts), Rox Yorr Soxov (27 pts) and Sally Terry Confinement with 19 pts (becoming a more formidable jammer with every bout), they were a royal presence on the track. Penalties were pretty evenly distributed, but Chanel came out with the cleanest players as well, with Wambam Shankyama’am, Mary Poppin’ Caps and Sally Terry Confinement staying clear of the penalty box. The only player on Deathrow to remain clear of the box was number 1895, Osh Kosh Beyotch.

Deathrow had a surprising and unfortunate deficit of skaters for this bout. More than a chance to show us they can rock and roll in prom dresses, this bout was also to decide which team would get to lead the next season’s draft, so emotions were higher than the scores and with only one home bout left in the season, our eyes are moving to the horizon to see what awaits us in 2011.

September 11th Bout Recap

September 11th Bout Recap

September 11th Bout Recap: Punchy Brewsters vs. Naughty Pines Derby Dames

By Eliaz “Evil I.” McMillan 

Roller derby is just as much about building relationships as it is about skating, and it was for this reason we were excited to have the Naughty Pines Derby Dames, with whom we’ve only scrimmaged before, come down from Laramie, Wyoming for a bout to test our new away team, the Punchy Brewsters. We hope what the Pines took away was as valuable, from the experience and their win, as the lessons we learned, and the experience we gained from the bout.

The first half showed a close game with only a 10-point difference in the scores: Punchy Brewsters- 44 to the Naughty Pines- 54. The Pines gained lead jammer status two more times than the Brewsters, but no jammer scored as much in that first half as Misty Skull Krippler, number 24, of the Punchy Brewsters, who managed 21 points in the first period. She’s proven herself as a jammer, one of the highest scoring jammers in our last two bouts. The Brewsters only gave up 1 point while they had lead jammer status, in that first jam, though our jammers managed to score 6 points while the Pines had lead jammer status. Penalty-wise the Brewsters were certainly punchy, with 31 minors called to the Pines’ 17, though the Pines did get one more major called on them than our seven immediate trips to the box.

Penalties stayed high for us, though not as high in this second half as for the Pines, who saw #15, Rid-A-Cruel, expelled for too many trips to the box. Congratulations to the cleanest players on both teams. Sally Terry Confinement, number 6, for the Brewsters played a penalty free game and the Pines’ Razor Ribbons, #<3, as well as Nic Nak Booty Smack, #1331, and Misty Skull Krippler, for the Brewsters, were only called with one minor penalty each (forearms, elbows and skating out of bounds respectively). Other clean players for the Brewsters: Putcha Onya Pockets, with only 3 minors; Battle E. Portman (the box just wasn’t the same without her) only went to the box once with one major for low blocking and had only one minor; Mama McHurt, one minor penalty away from expulsion in our last bout seems to have cleaned up her act with only 4 minors and 1 major this time around.

It was the second half that really hurt us. Though Suga Smaxxx, Putcha Onya Pockets, and Spice Cadet all got in some good, clean hits, our defense was just not as strong in the second half. We gave up more points while we had lead jammer status (12 points in this second half, though the Pines gave up 17) and though we had lead jammer status as often as the Pines, our jammers weren’t able to get as many points. The final score was: Punchy Brewsters- 83 to Naughty Pines- 115, showing us with this defeat that though we seem to have all the right pieces we still have much to learn about how to put these pieces together.

August 14th Bout Recap

August 14th Bout Recap

August 14th , Rollerland, Chanel Cartel vs. Deathrow Dolls Bout Recap

by Eliaz McMillan

Saturday night’s bout was an exciting one, with nearly half of each team’s line-ups consisting of new skaters. Fans, officials and skaters alike were all eager to see how the scene would play out and, as usual, FoCo Girls Gone Derby didn’t disappoint.

The teams seemed pretty fairly matched, but the Deathrow Dolls had two of the night’s top scoring jammers: number 13, Chocolate MILFshake, and number 187, Double D-Struction(formerly known as Demolition Doll), scoring lead jammer status 8 and 7 times respectively. MILFshake scored the most points of any skater overall, with 52 points scored in the bout, the majority of them – 31 to be exact – in the firsthalf.  Double D scored 13 points of her own in that first half. The rest of the Dolls backed them up, making for a 30 point lead by the end of the first half. The score at half time stood Chanel Cartel: 33, Deathrow Dolls: 63.

Penalties were evenly distributed throughout both teams, and amongst the veterans and newgirls, with the exception that our new girls took the lion’s share of majors. Elbows and back-blocking being the orders of the day. No ejections were to be had, though Deathrow Dolls’ new skater, number 1787, Mama McHurt, was only one minor away from ejection with number 18, Inner Demon of the Deathrow Dolls, and number 1974, Texas Chainsaw Mascara of Chanel Cartel not far behind.

The second half showed more fire under the girls’ wheels, along with cleaner play and the Chanel Cartel putting up a fight. Number AR15, Aimee ArmaLite of the Chanel Cartel, the bout’s second highest scoring jammer, making lead jammer 6 times, had 30 points under her belt, 23 of them scored in the second half. Number 24, Misty Skull Krippler, one of Chanel’s new girls, showed to be a formidable jammer as well, rounding out the top 4, making lead jammer 5 times and scoring 20 points overall, 11 in the second half.

Though the Chanel Cartel did most of their scoring in the second half, the Deathrow Dolls fought back, scoring one more point, making their first half lead all it took to win the bout; Chanel Cartel: 83, Deathrow Dolls: 114. Overall, it was a really tight match and we’re all really excited to see the new girls show us what they’ve got in the next half of the season.